Hard teaching 5 - What about people who don't believe?

This time, I am tackling a collection of questions that all mention the same basic problem. The problem is that Christianity implies that, left to ourselves, the human race is in deep trouble, and that God has devised a rescue plan. But if we don't opt for the rescue plan, or never get a chance to get on board, we remain in the proverbial.

Here are the questions.

Christian doctrine tells us that we are saved by faith – what about those who never hear about Jesus, or indeed the many who do not accept him?

I absolutely believe in Jesus and my Father God; my husband and children don’t. How do I accept the fact that I will one day be with the Lord and they won’t?

Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Here's the painful question put very clearly. What about those who don't hear, or don't accept? What about my family members who don't believe? If Jesus says he is the only way to God, what about everyone else?

We live in an inclusive, tolerant age. The thought that Christianity might be exclusive worries us to death. So what are we to think?

Christians have adopted one of three different answers to this question. 

Some say, "It's clear and obvious, you read the Bible and it tells you that the only way to be saved is through faith in Jesus. If you don't have that faith, you aren't saved. End of."

Others take the opposite extreme: "God is a God of love. He will never reject anybody. Ultimately, he will find a way of saving everybody."

There is a middle ground position as well, which basically says: "We don't know what people's eternal fate will be. That's up to God. All we can do is trust in his mercy."

This is very much a live question. Recently the Religious Right in America got all hot and bothered about a book called Love Wins by Rob Bell. They accused him of being a universalist - which is basically position 2 above. But the accusations took on something of the nature of a witch hunt. 

The trouble with the extreme views on both sides is that they end up protecting themselves by turning strident, and end up sounding and acting very unlike the Jesus they claim to be following. Something's wrong there. 

So - for me, the right thing to think either has to be one where I'm aligned with people who act in ways I'm ashamed of, or the woolly, sitting on the fence "We don't really know" middle ground position. I'm uncomfortable wherever I sit. 

So my response is to retreat from having a dogmatic, certain view into stories and nuances. We have Jesus' words on the subject; what we don't have is his tone of voice. He said "No one comes to the Father except through me," but how did he say it?

This may not work on the page, but did he say it like this:

No one comes to the Father except through me

or did he say it like this:

No one comes to the Father except through me

Do you see the difference?

In the first one, Jesus is like a doorman at a night club. He will keep you out, unless you satisfy his conditions. In the second, he's not judging anyone who comes in. He saying in effect, "I'm the one who opens the door to the Father for you. You may not recognise me, but it's only through me that that door will ever be opened. It's only through me that you will ever find yourself in the presence of God."

Experts tell us that only 10% of our communication is verbal. On this issue, I'm putting my faith in the 90%.