"You do know, it's all down to you, don't you?"

Why did this question fill me with horror?

I had a moment of revelation the other day. I was in a meeting, and the role of the church in the local community was under discussion. Our church was praised for being present in situations that other churches didn't seem to care about.

And then came the question.

"You do know, it's all down to you, don't you?"

What would you think was meant by that? I'll tell you how I took it. To me, it sounded like this person was telling me that it was all down to me, as the vicar, to keep the church involved in this and other important things in the community. And I quailed.

But seeing the look on my face, the last who said it clarified: she meant it as a compliment, that credit was due to me for leading the church to be so active in the community.

Why does this matter? Because for some time I have had my leadership style under scrutiny, and it is becoming clearer to me that I keep too much to myself
To much responsibility, too much work, too much worry. Like many clergy, I'm a poor delegater. It might be because I'm a control freak, it might be because it takes quite a bit of nerve to persuade a busy person to do another job for you. But partly because of something a bit more complicated and intractable.

Because of the way I responded to that question. It's all down to me. I didn't know that I thought that, but apparently I do.

Time to remind myself that it's NOT all down to me. It never was, and never will be. This isn't my church, it's God's church.

Sorry God. You can have it back now. I hope I haven't broken it.

The storage tide

I'm thinking of preaching tomorrow on the parable of the rich fool - Jesus' story of the farmer who needed to build bigger barns to keep all his possessions safe.

It struck a chord - every time I see a self-storage warehouse I think, "We have way too much stuff!"

Rhythmic prayer - progress?

Well it's no secret that this prayer journey of mine hasn't been plain sailing. It's coincided with one of the busiest periods of my life for a decade, and just recently with one of those suspicious illnesses that just happen arrive just as I've got time for them.
Yes, this last week I've been ill, After singing with a sore throat on Sunday, I could hardly speak on Monday, and have been full of cold all week. Sleeping badly, with aching limbs and throbbing head each day, I have cancelled appointments and ignored the sunshine, and laid on my bed of pain.
I'd been looking forward to this week as a time to catch up on the things I'd postponed for too long. All those people I'd neglected to call or visit. All those emails and bits of paper not responded to.All those tasks that weren't counted as urgent, waiting for me to summon the time to carry them out.
None of them done!
Not even prayer.
All I've been able to do is to start one or two things that I hope will become habits - little actions that remind me of God and certain points in the day. Trivial really, but I hope worthwhile.
When I wash my face, I splash water on to my face three times, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And I think about God, while I'm lathering the soap.
And I'm lingering longer in front of hand dryers in public toilets. That sounds ominous, doesn't it! Rather than a token waft under the asthmatic lukewarm breeze, followed by a swift wipe on the trousers, I hold my hands there until they are dry. Or until the machine cuts off. And while I'm doing that, I pray.
So next time you're in the pub with e and I nip out to the toilets, and I'm gone a long time ... now you know what I'm doing!

Why celebrate 150 years of our church?

I don't usually post sermons here, but today I'm making an exception. In our 150th year, our main celebration is at the Village Fete where, together with the regular organisers, we are working to put on an enjoyable afternoon for all the community.
The sermon is designed to address the questions of why we are doing this, rather than something more "spiritual,"and is attempting to break down the barriers between those inside the church and those outside. For some, there are no barriers, but for others, both insiders and outsiders, there very definitely are.
The Bible passage is Luke 10:1-11, 16-20

Introduction

Today's gospel is one that has all sorts of challenges for us. It's one of those passage where you can say, OK, this is what Jesus made his disciples do then, what if he was to make his disciples do the same thing now. Then and now – and Jesus' words apply to both.

Sending Out

The first thing to say is that this is the clearest example in the gospels that following Jesus is not just a question of watching him do it. Jesus sends people out to do the things he does.

Whenever Christian preachers talk about mission, about God being a sending God, about the church's mission in the world, this is the passage they are thinking of. 

What does Jesus do? He teaches, he heals, he saves. Oh, and he sends.

Being a Christian is not just about coming, it's about going. 

Coming and going. 

Just sitting in the pews sometimes feels like a victory in itself. But it's not the whole story.

And if we look at what Jesus says, the first thing that strikes us is that he complains there aren't enough people to send! 

Sound familiar?

We would love to do more in this community, but we haven't got the people to do it. 

So are we going to do what Jesus says? Are we going to pray, and ask God to send out more people?

Working in partnership

Moving on, the second thing I want to pick out is the idea of working in partnership. 

Don't take everything you might need, Jesus tells them. Don't fill up your rucksack with provisions and spare clothes, and your swiss army knife. 

Why not? 

Why can't we go equipped?

Are we supposed to make it harder for ourselves? 

I used to really wonder what this meant, I couldn't understand why Jesus insisted that his disciples had to travel light. But recently, I think I'm beginning to understand it.

If you've got all you need, you think you can do it by yourself. If you haven't, you need to ask for help.

Jesus isn't creating little supermen who are going to go out and amaze the populace with their astonishing powers. 

He doesn't want men of steel. 

Jesus himself was sent by the Father into the world and he arrived with nothing. He was weak, and he needed help. He was a baby and he needed the love of a mother and father to protect him and nurture him.

The disciples will arrive in a village and the first thing they're going to need is a meal and a bed. 

They're going to have to ask someone, Please will you look after me? Please will you help me? 

And the person who offers them hospitality is going to want to know, why are you here? And when they explain, if their host is a person with a pure heart, a man of peace, as Jesus puts it, they will help. 

They will say, "I will help you to do what you've come for. You can stay in my house, you can eat my food, and when you go out to talk to everybody they'll know that you have got the backing of at least one person, because I'll be standing right behind you."

What's the lesson for us in this? 

To do things with people, to let them help. 

They don't have to believe it all first, they just have to support us. 

So next week, the village fête is a joint effort between the church and the village. 

We are helping them, they are helping us. Before we open our mouths to say a word about the God we believe in, we will have worked alongside each other. 

That's why next week's 10am service is cancelled. 

No, it's not cancelled, it's just moved. 

Next week our "service" will be to help those who are preparing for the fête. 

So please don't stay away just because "there's no church." 

Come and be the church outside our walls. 

If all goes according to plan, it won't just be our job to commend our God to everyone who turns up for the fête, the whole community will be doing the job with us, and for us.

Result – Success!

And what was the result for those first disciples? 

Success. 

They returned with joy, saying “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” 

Jesus' reply shows that he has shared his authority with them to be victorious over all the nasties that threaten them. 

Don't be surprised, he tells them. Whatever it is that you fear, whether it's literal demons or metaphorical ones, the God who goes with you is stronger than they are.

But again he warns them not to be supermen. 

Don't get carried away – what matters most is not your victories over evil, it's whether or not your names are written in heaven. That's the most important thing.

Is it the most important thing for us? 

Is this the most important thing that we wish for, and hope for and work for and pray for – for everyone we come into contact with, that their names are written in heaven? 

Why are we celebrating our 150th? Just to give ourselves a giant pat on the back? 

What has this church been here for, for 150 years? 

So that the people who live in Hertford Heath may have their names written in heaven, that's what we're here for!

Rhythmic Prayer: The exercises

The second chapter of my prayer journey is all about rhythm. The contrast between periods of work and rest creates gaps into which we can invite God.
These are the exercises that Gerard and Chrissie Kelly suggest in their book, which can allow us to fill the gaps in our lives with prayer.

Liminal Prayer: coming apart at the seams

Coming apart at the seams sounds like bad news! But in another sense, it's nothing but good news. Coming apart is an old-fashioned term for the life of prayer, and often the time to find moments to withdraw from the preoccupations of the day is the joining places. The moments between waking and sleeping, between home and work, the pause between appointments. These are liminal moments, stages between one state and the next and they most offer the chance of private thoughts in an otherwise public day. Can you identify some of the seams in your life that you can convert into prayer moments? Having done so, can you commit to using them with regularity? Every traffic light, two seconds before each meeting, the same bus ride every day. What about offering a silent prayer every time you cross a boundary or threshold?

Pause, rewind, play

There is great scope for creating “pause moments” in the day and habitually turning them to prayer. The time it takes to boil a kettle, to take a shower... In the Celtic tradition each of these would have its own prayer. There were prayers for lighting the fire, milking the cow, or washing your face. Perhaps we can create prayers like that for ourselves. Think about the “pause moments” that most regularly occur in your days and which of them could most easily be turned to prayer.

Spot the dot

We have done this before in church. We were invited to put a sticker on our watch, or our phone, or our glasses case, so that every time we saw it, it would remind us to pray. Would anyone like a new dot?The fishbowl of faithThe Kellys have a friend in London who used to feel guilty about all the people he promised to pray for. He had too many people on his list, and couldn't stick to a timetable. His ingenious solution was to find an empty fishbowl at home, and write the names of everyone he had committed to pray for on pieces of paper. Whenever he went out of his front door, he would pick a slip with closed eyes and pray for that person through the day.

Thanktank

The German mystic Meister Eckhart taught that “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'Thank you.' that would suffice.” Saying grace before meals can for some people be a rare island of gratitude in an ungrateful world. Some make a habit of praying on the last moment before sleep, thanking God for the warmth, security and comfort of a bed and for the home that allows a family to rest in peace. Some have learned in their first waking moments to pause and thank God for the new day. When Jesus broke bread and said “Do this in remembrance of me,” was he thinking about the service of Holy Communion, or something simpler? “Every time you see bread, think of me. Every time you break it, remember me.” Sew prayer into the very fabric of your day and you will find that fabric transformed.

Prayer Journey - My second step

After admitting to some struggles as I try to get my prayer life up to speed, this Sunday I'm going to preach on the second chapter of Gerard and Chrissie Kelly's book, Intimate with the Ultimate.

This is all about getting a rhythm in your prayer life. Music to my ears. I've always been stop start, trying out something new and being all enthusiastic for a week or two, only for the next new thing to become another source of guilt, or an unwanted millstone round my neck.

The chapter begins with a provocative quote from Christine Sine: "I am challenged by the idea of entering into the joy of the Sabbath as a glimpse of eternity. Taking the Sabbath seriously affects the rhythm and focus of my whole life, not just one day a week."
Tomorrow will be my day off, and I will be resting. I don't always manage a full day off, and if my sermon isn't finished, I'll be sneaking into the study or sitting with my laptop on my knees while watching television in the evening, finishing my Powerpoint or the notice sheet.
(Ever wondered why there are so many typos in the notice sheet? Maybe there was something good on telly on Saturday night ...)

But it's not just about taking a day off once a week. Important though that is, what the Kellys are really talking about, is contrast.
They give the example of the discovery made by impressionist painters, that using contrasting colours could make each one shine more brightly. If we can inject some contrast into our lives - times of effort interspersed with times of rest, times of action balanced by times of reflection - then the resulting rhythm will add depth to all we do.

These rhythms aren't prayer in themselves, more containers into which prayer can be poured. They can be thimble-sized, or big enough for a gallon of Spirit. But without the container, the prayer can't be held. Try getting yourself a drink without a glass to put it in. You end up in all sorts of contortions trying to get your head under the tap.

If rhythm can stop my prayer life getting contorted, it's well worth a go!

Prayer journey? Prayer traffic jam, more like

Well, I have to confess that my prayer journey is off to a slow start.

Thank you to everyone who has been asking me how it is going - I hope I've been honest enough with you to say that it is going very very slowly! I did say that prayer wasn't my strong point, didn't I?

So instead of zipping along the M1 of prayer, I am firmly stuck in the traffic jam of the spiritual life. But not disheartened. It's too easy to get either guilty or fed up, and decide that's it, I'm not going to bother. I don't want to succumb to these temptations. I also want to try some of the suggestions in the Kellys' excellent book.

Past of what I am doing at the moment is removing some of the blockages to prayer. I've spoken about guilt already, I've spoken about the fact that we need to be really persuaded that God is on our side, not waiting to appeased by us, or argued into grudgingly helping us out. I really believe that, and I'm determined to put it into practice.

The next sermon on this subject will be preached on June 23rd, at 8am and 10am in Holy Trinity Hertford Heath. There will also be blog posts on the subject of chapter two - prayer as a rhythm. I am really looking forward to this - I sense that my own efforts at prayer are fitful and clumsy because I lack any rhythm. I hope to be reporting on some ways to bring God into the ups and downs of my life pretty soon.